Here we go again. Ain’t it great? I love this sport and more importantly the people I know and respect through this sport. So many honorable coaches, parents and wrestlers and officials. Of course, there are a few exceptions and we won’t mention them. That doesn’t mean they will go totally igored during the course of the season when behavior warrants it.

I have been so blessed in my life to be associated with men and women and kids who live by a code. Rationalizing right and wrong is not an option. Right is right and wrong is wrong. There are no gray areas.

I have had several people who have shown me the right path in life and in the sport. My idol turned close friend Paul Aubrey. He lived a good life and was truly one the best people I have ever known.

Bob Maughan, my only real coach in my mind. He is loved by those he coached because he loved you and he showed it. He walks the right path and you want to follow.

Brandon Slay, a champion on the mat and off. I officiated him in high school and I am so proud of him because of the person he is and the exemplary example he presents for our kids. He could be the most humble person I know and is so wise for a man his age. Wiser than me and I am old enough to be his__brother?

Keegan Mueller- a winner all the time regardless of the score. Win or lose, he was always the same christian kid that displayed sportsmanship and respect for all. In doing so, he earned the respect of all who met him.

There are so many I can’t list them all because I may forget one.

On July 14th, I lost my role model, my mentor and my best friend. My Dad. W.C. “Dub” McQueen. I want to share some of his wisdom in the hope that some of this makes sense to the kids and they begin to see some of the lessons that their parents are trying to impart to them.

My Dad was old school and I have to give you a little background to appreciate the sacrifices he made willingly. When I was born in 1950 my Dad was playing Pro Baseball in the Cubs organization and by midseason he was the starting catcher in the majors. He was a 4-sport, 4-time all stater from Wynnewood, Oklahoma. In November of 1950 my mother’s Dad died of TB and asked my Dad on his death bed to make sure his family was taken care of.

My maternal grandmother went into a catatonic state that lasted for 15 years and was institutionalized. My mother had 4 brothers between 10-16 and a sister that was 2.

At 21 my father became the father of six and went to work for Chicago Bridge and Iron building refineries as he couldn’t make enough playing ball then and you can’t raise that many kids on the road. There were 4 sisters after me.

After I was older and realized what he had given up, I asked him if he ever thought about it or had regrets. No pause “I made a promise to your Grandfather and a vow to your Mother so there wasn’t anything to think about. There was no choosing, you do what is right.”

You see, in our house it was simple. There was only one rule. “Do the right thing.” There were no spankings but we had “CHATS.” You had to stand with your nose on his while he had Copenhagen in his mouth and explain what you did wrong. Never had the same CHAT twice. My worst fear was that my parents would be disappointed in me.

Many of you kids face peer pressure and so did I at your age. My Dad prepared me well. This was his greatest gift to me.

“There are two kind of people in this world, Leaders and Followers. A leader decides his fate, a follower cedes that decision to someone else.” “If you want to see a bunch of followers, I’ll take you to McAlester State Pen. Everyone of them will tell you it wasn’t their idea.”

“Each man is given free will by God. Each path you choose you suffer the consequences or you reap the benefit. By being a follower you let someone else choose your path.” “A Leader is in charge of his own destiny and takes the path that is “Right” and doesn’t rationalize. “Any “friend” that would try to lead you to darkness is no friend. YOU are responsible for your own actions, no one else.”

I was no angel but when my friends wanted to do something that I knew was wrong, I asked them to take me home. I was razzed but held my ground. “There are simply things I will not do.” I always followed with a gesture involving a finger. Those friends respect me to this day for that.

Many of you may suffer self esteem problems. My Dad tied this in with the message above. “A person that does the RIGHT thing will like who he sees in the mirror and have self-respect. It doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks, it is what is right in your heart and the eyes of God.” “Respect and love by others will be the by-product. It’s better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you’re not.”

For those of you that know me, I am sure you have noticed that I have no problem with self-esteem. Pop used to say, “If you don’t believe in yourself, don’t expect others to.”

I watched my Father give people a second chance in life when others turned away. He found a man beaten severely in 1981 at the end of the Jefferson Street Bridge. The man told my Dad he was a veteran and Dad took him to the VA Hospital. 3 days later they called Dad and told him that he could come pick up William Killian. Dad said he would take him home so he picked him up and “Red,” as he would come to be known by the family, directed my Dad back to the bridge. He got out and started under the bridge. That’s where he lived. My Dad took him home for a “few days” to recover as he was afraid someone else would beat him. 23 years later, Red died peacefully in his sleep on my Dad’s couch. “No man that fought for our country will sleep under a bridge when I have a room in my house.”

Thanksgiving and Christmas are a huge event in my family because it is a huge family. Every year we were introduced to someone that had no place to go for the holidays. Many of them will continue to spend their holidays with us because that is what Dad would want.

My Dad was at every baseball game and every wrestling match I had. He sat quietly and spoke with his eyes. For baseball he would always take me home and we would work on things I needed to improve on but it was never done negatively. In wrestling, he deferred to my coach cause he said ” I never knew whether you were winning or losing til they raised your hand.”

The one thing he promised me that he would never embarass me or any of his kids by making a scene at a school event. He made us promise to do the same with our kids. If only he could have gotten through to my mother, I wouldn’t have been known as MIKEY all the way through high school.

His lessons were simple because he taught by example. “Be there for your family and friends without fail and let those you love know it, not just in words but deeds.” ” To have a friend you must be a TRUE friend.” “Find something to laugh about every day, even if the laughs on you.”

He walked the talk. He was the most HONORABLE man I ever knew and the funniest and I will spend the rest of my life living up to his legacy.

Starting today: Be somebody you’d be proud to know!!!